Monday, May 24, 2010

The Understatement of the Millenium.

For those of you who haven't heard, I'M GONNA BE AN AUNT! My baby sister is baking a baby right now! My cheeks are literally sore from smiling so much over the last few days. Tater Tot will enter our lives sometime mid-January, and I can promise you there's not a family more excited to welcome a baby into it on this planet!

The other day, Lori wrote on her facebook for moms to private message her advice, pregnancy tips, etc... I can't wait to see what all she got in response. I remember being at this spot with Abi and feeling totally lost as to what I should expect next. The main thing people kept telling me is what I'm calling the "The Understatement of the Millenium." It says it all, but doesn't say nearly enough. And I promise you, I heard it hundreds of time before I had Abi...

"Your life is about to totally change."

REALLY ? That's like saying the Grand Canyon is a whole in the ground. Or perhaps like saying the Pacific Ocean has a few gallons of water in it.

So, in honor of this understatement, I thought I would compile a list of ways Lori and Seth's life is about to change. Moms and dads of the blogworld, please add to this list, either on here, or my facebook fanpage.


1. You will never sleep the same way again. Ever. EVER.

2. You will possess a love so fierce, you could rip a grizzly bear to shreds with your bare hands in order to protect your little one from pain.

3. Know how you used to just get your purse/wallet, get in your car, go buy groceries, and be back in an hour? This phenomenon will soon be a distant memory.

4. You will never stop being amazed at how a quick glimpse of your sleeping child, playing child, eating child, laughing child... will make your heart swell with pride and physically ache with love at the same time.

5. You will look at every person you meet on the street with skepticism from now on. Whether they are a "good guy" or a "bad guy" will cross your mind automatically.

6. You will find yourself standing over the crib of your sleeping baby, just watching... even when you swore as soon as you put him down, you were going to bed yourself.

7. You will acclimate just fine to your plate being cold by the time you finally get to eat for about three years after the baby gets here.

8. You will be so ready to dump your bundle of love off at your mom's (or sister's) house because you feel like you're willing to do anything for two hours of alone time... but you will spend those two hours thinking of that sweet little face and how yummy it will be when you kiss it over and over upon your return.

9. Every runny nose, fever, cough, and icky diaper will make you worry for about the first two years. Then you'll start trusting your instincts and the doctor won't be as frequented as he used to be.

10. You will eat lunches of Goldfish crackers, warm juice boxes, and those little yogurt things that melt in your baby's mouth... and wonder why you're starving when it's dinnertime.

11. You will realize it's 5:00, and think, "What the heck did I do all day?" on a regular basis.

12. You'll feel the need to apologize to your parents over and over and over.

13. You will crave a night out without the baby, but then decide to stay home and sleep.

14. You will find yourself recapping Dora's adventures to others like she's your personal friend.

15. You'll realize the parts that drooped and fell when you carried and birthed this child will never fully regain their original location.

16. If you have one of those video monitors, you'll find yourself watching it like you used to watch your favorite TV show.

17. You will suddenly possess voices that could land you a job as a cartoon character for the next Disney movie.

18. You will look at your childless friends who are still "playing" as much as they want and vaguely remember you used to "play" too... but you'll also know THIS kind of play is SO much more fun.

19. You will plan entire weeks around naptimes. And you'll laugh when you remember that you used to say, "My baby will just have to adapt to my lifestyle."

20. You will never, ever, ever make it though another hour of your life without thinking of her. Unless you're sleeping.

So, um, yeah. Your life will change. Entirely. And by entirely, I mean infinitely and limitlessly. And the change will never stop. You'll be overwhelmed, undersleeped, and taxed to your absolute limit. But it will be the best adventure you've ever been on in your life. This is what life IS. This is what love is.

New moms and dads, you were made for this! You can do it, yes you can!!!!

Welcome to the big leagues!


  1. YEP to the 1001th degree!! Was good to go back down memory lane and realize I am still there to some degree. :-)

  2. I'm so looking forward to all this, too! I can't wait! Mine and Lori's babies will be 1 - 2 months apart! :D

  3. Daddies need a checklist for the diaper bag!! So make up one and laminate it and chain it to the bag... although it will change; either after your shoulder falls off from carrying EVERYTHING you MIGHT need, or as soon as they don't need the binky, or burp cloths but instead need toys, books, and spoons for baby food.

    "I'll be ready in a minute" now actually takes ten thanks to another blowout poopy diaper, loading the baby into the car seat, and running inside to get the binky / bottle / blanket / whatever you forgot!

    You find instant 'friends' because of your new baby! Whether you like them or not, they will feel they have the right to touch, hold and even watch you breastfeed!!

    You will NOT be the center of attention anymore... infact, be prepared to be ignored, or referred to as "???'s mom"