Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Did I Say That OUTLOUD?
So, when you're at your high school graduation, you see yourself in adulthood driving a red sportscar, with Bon Jovi blasting through the kickin' sound system you could afford because of your lucrative job. Your car is filled with friends, and you're headed to the beach for the third day in a row, because you're an adult and you can do whatever you want. You can sleep in when you want, eat when you want, and wear what you want, when you want, and how you want.
(Car tires screeching to a halt here.)
Then you wake up.
Fast forward a few years. Ok, more than a few. Just fast forward, ok? I never did get that sportscar. But I do have a mini-van that has crushed up goldfish behind the booster seat! And that Bon Jovi music? Um, not so much. But I do get to listen to endless Disney Princess music as I drive to the grocery store, post office, and to work. (Yep, I catch myself listening to it even when she's not in the van... just because I don't even notice it's playing anymore.) Oh, and the car filled with friends? Yeeeeah. My friends are all doing the same thing I am... shuttling kids here and there, working all day, and heating up Lean Cuisines for lunch. We don't even get to use the bathroom when we want, much less sleep when we want!
But before you think I'm gonna spend this blog complaining, let me say...
I love it. Every. Single. DAY.
See, life doesn't always end up looking like we thought it would. We do things we never thought we would. (Remember seeing THAT kid... the one with the dried snot on his nose and mismatched shoes, and thinking "I will NEVER do that when I have kids!"??? Well, now that's MY kid.) We eat things we never thought we'd eat... ("Yes, Abi, I'd love to taste that gum you've been chewing for an hour that you think tastes like strawberry glue!") And for today's reading enjoyment, I thought I would give you a list of "THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER SAY IN THIS LIFETIME." Riveting, I know.
"Abi, why are your jeans in the toilet?"
"Please spit out the Skittle you just ate from the parking lot!"
"Get the dog's foot out of your mouth!"
"Abi, we don't call people 'Oh My God.'"
"No, you may not go to church just wearing your underwear."
"Cheetos do not count as cheese."
"No, boys cannot have babies out of their privates."
"Why are you wearing your dress in the shower?"
"Did you brush your teeth at all this week?"
"No, you can't punch a baby because he's crying."
And most recently...
"You cannot cut your hair with craft scissors because craft scissors do not cut hair very evenly." (Crisis averted.)
What a ride! I wouldn't trade one single bizarre question for all of the teenage dreams I ever had. This is SO much better. Crazier, yes. But better. Certainly more fulfilling. Tiring.
And a better life than I ever imagined.