When Worlds Collide

Ok, pop quiz on this cheery Tuesday morning!

What do Spongebob, Penguins of Madagascar, Alice in Wonderland, Snoop Dogg, Toy Story 3, supermodel Heidi Klum, Katy Perry, and Super Mario Galaxy 2 have in common?

(dramatic pause here....)

Give up?

Well, if you're under the age of 18, you probably aced this quiz. If you're a parent of any sort, my guess is, you failed.

They were all a part of the 2011 Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

"But Jill! What could a Victoria's Secret Model possibly have in common with Buzz Lightyear?"

I'm glad you asked. The answer to this question is; I HAVE NO IDEA.

It's Tuesday morning, about 10:30 am. I've had two cups of coffee, and I'm just sitting here, minding my own business, doing some light reading about who won what this year for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards.

And I literally heard myself say, "WHAT???" outloud as I read it.

If you know me, you know I'm not Amish. I like my cable TV with hundreds of channels. We subscribe to Netflix, so I can see TV shows and movies of my choice whenever I want. My husband just sold his little fishing boat and bought our family an Xbox 360 Kinect, where you use your actual body as the controller for the game(which I think I am developing a crush on). I have an iPhone, and iPad, and a Kindle. I listen to music, both Christian and secular, all the time. We go to movies. I DVR my favorite shows (American Idol and Celebrity Apprentice) and watch them faithfully. So before you label me as one of "those" Christian moms who only allows her little ones to watch black and white Doris Day movies from 1957, I want to stress to you that I am NOT.

Having said that, I realize all the time that, in spite of our technologically current household, my lifestyle holds pretty true to my blog name, and we are WAY more old school than new school up in here.

For the life of me, I cannot find the common denominator between the sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea and a singer who sings about sun-kissed skin being so hot it'll "melt your Popsicle," nor can I wrap my mind around why they shared a stage for what was created to be a "kids'" award show.

Here's my fear.

Parents still think Nickelodeon is what it was in 1995.

IT IS NOT.

We honestly treat Nick as if it's MTV in our house. There are some shows quite entertaining and age appropriate. However, there are some shows that are not only completely adult in their content, but are not even suitable FOR adults.

Not sold on this idea that Nickelodeon isn't appropriate viewing material for your precious angels without your supervision? Ok. Let's look at the cast of characters at the awards' show. (Captions are below each picture).




This dashing young man sings songs with lyrics like (and I quote): I'm gonna take you down, down, I'm gonna take you down... I want the love liquor, now lick it... Or, how about this? (QUOTE) She's hopped up on me, I've got her in my zone...
Her body's pressed up on me, I think she's ready to blow. Must be my future sex love sound...Just tell me which way you like that, All you gotta do is tell me which way you like that... You can't stop, baby, You can't stop once you've turned me on
And your enemy are your thoughts, baby...So just let 'em go, 'Cause all I need is a moment alone-- To give you my tongue and put you out of control-- And after you let it in we'll be skin to skin...It's just so natural Is it natural? For a 10 year old to see THIS man representing ANYTHING worthy of admiration on an awards' show geared for CHILDREN?


She was one of the "best dressed." Really? Because from where I sit, this is NOT how Legos were meant to be played with.


Can ANYONE tell me why Kim Kardashian was there? At ALL? Because one of her most recent photoshoots was so indecent, I didn't even want to put it on here to show you how bad it was. (and that's BAD).


Snoop Dogg. Wow. Let's look at some of his masterful song writing skills. (Quote) I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good, Smoking on some s*** that you wish you could...Jealousy, envy please don't feel bad- This weed is mine get your own bag... This weed is mine, This weed is mine you can't have it... This weed is mine, This weed is mine you can't have it. Now, Snoop. Your mother taught you to share! That's why you're on the Kids' Choice Awards!


This cheerful young lady is from the hit show "Gossip Girl." It's a very wholesome show (sarcasm)about drugs, booze, infidelity, friendships gone awry, and the very nice "15 things every college Student should do before graduating," which included a threesome. Well.


Nope. Nope, nope, nope. On every level, NOPE.

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Now. Granted, Justin Timberlake wasn't spreading Futuresex lyrics out to his young audience. And Snoop wasn't letting children pass around joints during the ceremony. But is that the point? Is that what we want our kids to catch? That as long as people clean up well and say all the right things on stage, we can admire them while they're shining? Do we want them to see idols of the like on their TV screens in a "safe" place like Nickelodeon, thus leading them to deem these celebs "safe" to listen to, look up to, and follow?

I don't think so.

'Cause here's the deal. An organization we once trusted can put a shiny outfit on someone, let them receive an award, (where they will guaranteed thank God for their talent and thank their mother for not giving up on them), but that does NOT pass the litmus test of is this okay for my child.

The old Nick is gone. (Thank God for Nick Jr-- Little Bill, Miss Spider, and Oswald still exist there... for now).

We've got to wake up. And fast.

Kids' Choice Awards? I think not. WE have allowed this. Parents' Choice Awards is more like it.